How Friends and Family Can Truly Help When Dementia Enters the Room

When dementia becomes part of your life whether you are living with it or caring for someone who is one of the most unexpected challenges can be how others respond.

Friends and family often mean well. They care. They want to help. And yet, when dementia is named out loud, discomfort often follows. People don’t always know what to say, so they try to make it better. Or lighter. Or less scary.

Sometimes that looks like stepping away.

Sometimes it looks like denial.

And sometimes it sounds like this:
“Oh, I forget things too” or “I probably have that as well.”
Said with a shrug, meant to reassure.

What those responses often miss is this: minimizing dementia doesn’t make it easier it often makes it lonelier.

For the person living with dementia and for their care partner those well-meaning comments can feel dismissive. They unintentionally say, “This isn’t really happening,” or “It’s not that serious,” when in fact, it is.

What helps is not fixing. What helps is not reframing. What helps is not pretending it isn’t real.

What helps is listening.

Listening without interrupting. Listening without comparing.
Listening without trying to make the discomfort go away.

When someone living with dementia or their care partner opens up, they are not asking for solutions. They are asking to be seen. To be heard. To be acknowledged in a reality that can feel isolating and heavy.

You don’t need special words.
You don’t need expertise.
You don’t need to know what comes next.

You can simply say:

• “Thank you for trusting me with that.”

• “I’m really glad you told me.”

• “That sounds hard.”

• “I’m here.”

Those words matter more than you may realize.

Staying present rather than stepping away builds trust. It tells the person, “You don’t have to carry this alone.” And that, in itself, is a profound form of support.

Dementia is uncomfortable. It brings up fear, grief, and uncertainty. But silence and dismissal create more pain than the disease itself ever needs to.

Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is simply sit with someone in their truth, without trying to change it.

Being heard can be healing.

And often, it’s all that’s required.